Secret Agent Man

Well, I can't be a special agent of the FBI, not yet anyway.

Lana has been researching possible career fields and she watches a lot of TV shows like Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Without a Trace. We've seen random episodes of Cold Case, Criminal Minds, CSI, etc. So in her job search, she came across the FBI Special Agent information page for new recruits. On it, she found out about the physical fitness test a person must pass in order to be considered for employment.

The test was split into 4 individually scored segments, those being sit-ups, push-ups, 300 meter run, and 1.5 mile run. Each event had its' own specific protocal. To pass the physcial fitness test, a minimum score or time was required in each segment, in addition to needing a combined score above the cut-off line.

To give a scoring example, male sit-ups (60-second time limit) were scored as follows:

-2 points--fewer than 31 situps
0 points--32-37 situps
1 point--38 situps
2 points--39-42 situps
3 points--43-44 situps
4 points--45-47 situps
5 points--48-49 situps
6 points--50-51 situps
7 points--52-53 situps
8 points--54-55 situps
9 points--56-57 situps
10 points--more than 58 situps

Each event had its' own scoring scale which can be found at http://www.fbijobs.gov/11131.asp. To even be considered for special agent status, one must score at least one point in each category and have a minimum of 12 points total across the four categories. I believe I saw that it is recommmended you be able to score in the high 20s to low 30s for serious consideration.

So, Lana and I went out around noon to be if we had what it took to be special agents, at least as far as physical fitness is concerned. The order of events were situps, 300-meter run, push-ups, then the 1.5 mile run, with minimal time in between each event.

First came sit-ups. Lana went first. She went at a steady pace, but it was too slow, as she only had 15 at the 30-second mark, she hurried up the pace and ended up with 34 in 60 seconds, one short of scoring the necessary point to pass. She scored zero points. I went next and was able to do 39 in 60 seconds, scoring two points.

After one event: Kevin 2, Lana 0.

Next we did the 300-meter run. I wasn't sure what to expect here, I sometimes feel lighter than air when I am sprinting, other times it feels like I'm running in slow motion. Lana went first and was really cruising along running the first 200 meters in a little over 30 seconds, but ran the last 100 meters in a little over 20 seconds, getting 54.??, and scoring 5 points, a good score. I went next, didn't feel too fast, tried to stay on my toes as much as possible but ended up on my heels. I came in at 45.50, also scoring 5 points. My gluts and hammies felt like they were on fire, my quads drained of any energy.

After two events: Kevin 7, Lana 5. I might pass this thing!

The third event was push-ups, something I am not strong at. From time to time in my life I have tried to do push-ups as part of working out, but fall off the schedule after about two weeks of them. My dad told me that in college he could do 60 pushups in 60 seconds, and won a fair amount of fraternity bets with the trick. At one point, I tried to be his equal, but I think the most I ever worked up to was in the low 50s. Today, I'm lucky if I can do 20 in a row. The thing about push-ups in this event is that you have to have continual motion, no pausing in between push-ups to gather strength or will power, you just have to keep going. Lana went first again and did 23, although the form was slipping at the end, and scored 3 points. She only had to do 19 to pass, whereas I had to get 30 to even get a single point. I did 17 or 18 really quick, then fought through a few more and maxed out at 22. I think I could have done a few more, but when I realized I still had to get to 30, I figured why make it to 25 or 26 just to quit when I can quit now. Maybe that's just my excuse for not doing as many push-ups as Lana. 0 points.

After three events: Lana 8, Kevin 7. Technically, neither one of us can pass at this point because we failed to score in an event, but we still wanted to see if we could get the 12 point minimum.

The last event was the 1.5 mile run. Abs tired, quads tired, arms tired, butt sore, but I need to get 10:34 or better to get 5 points to finish with 12. Lana simply needs to run a 12:29 to get 4 points to finish with 12. How did the drama unfold? I ran my first lap in 1:27, things were looking great, I was on pace to run under 9 minutes, good for 10 points! Second lap came in at 3:08, off pace, but still looking to score a lot of points. Third lap at 4:50. Slowing down. Had to walk a bit in the fourth lap, it felt like my ribs were going to separate. I was at 7:30 with two laps to go, averaged about 2 minutes per lap and finished at 11:33. Oh yeah, Lana passed me somewhere in there and she got 11:01. I scored 3 points for my time and Lana tallied 8.

Score: Lana 16, Kevin 10

So, I thought I might do fairly well, then didn't even meet either of the two minimum requirements, failing in the push-ups segment and failing to score 12 points total. I guess I have some work to do, but I don't really want to be a special agent, so no worries.

Lana tried the situps again, going at a faster pace the whole time and she did much better, doing 38 situps, bettering her previous total by 4. She went at a much faster pace early, then had some trouble late. It seemed like she could have done a number in the low 40s if she hadn't been fatigued from the previous events and having done situps earlier. So, in her second attempt, she did 38 situps, scoring 2 points, and passing all of the events.

I could have tried pushups again, but there was no point.

Final adjusted score: Lana 18, Kevin 10.

Lana passed. Congratulations Lana!

So, that was a fun workout, something with some goals mixed in with novelty. Planned to throw some frisbee, but it has been raining here for six or seven days in a row, coupled with the hammer toss practice that has occured there in the rain, left the field covered with ankle-deep divots, plus I'll be playing Moustachionals this weekend with Dingwop, so I'll get some frisbee in.