Awkward

I just realized the other day that I never finished off the top-10 ultimate games, stalling at the tenth game. Well, the "t" in ten has not been uttered, so I'm still good. Later, #1 game.

Today I'll be trying to describe the awkwardness of one of my most embarrassing moments. Remember if you will back to sixth grade and how easy and smooth gender relations were. Got it? Maybe you remember them as a lot easier and smoover than I do, because I was, for the most part, deathly afraid of girls until I was about 19 years old.

In sixth grade, one of the cool things to do was to sneak up beside somebody and tap them on the shoulder by reaching around their back. Basically, tapping them on the right shoulder if you were on their left side, and on the left shoulder if you were on their right side. Thus, getting the sucker to look off into a direction where nobody was standing and confusing them as to who it was who wanted their attention. Then, they'd realize it was the person on the other side of them and a good laugh was had by all. Sidenote: We did this in sixth grade. Lana still does it to people ALL the time. It is one of her endearing qualities.

So, here we are at indoor recess and I notice a girl all by herself near her desk. I don't even know her well, we weren't particularly friends, but I thought it would be a great idea to try to do this to her. As I creep up I'm thinking to myself how sweet it will be when she realizes what has happened. Like a cat I silently creep closer, closer yet, until I am within striking distance. I raise my arm, pointer finger extended and prepare for hilarity. My hand is on its way down...

But wait! Disaster! She unexpectedly whips around and looks me right in the face. My arm, though, is already careening downward with unstoppable momentum. My face must have turned from smug contentment to embarrassed horror when I realized I had just ran my hand down the front of this girl's chest.

What did I do? Well, I calmly explained to her the joke that I was trying to pull and how she had turned around quickly and it was all just a misunderstanding and an accident. No, that's not it at all. Unable to speak, I simply stood there, mouth agape in shock as my best laid plans had gone awry. All I could say was something to the effect of "um...I ah....um...uhh..." On her face was a look of disgust and equal embarrassment. Then anger. Then on the top of her lungs, "KEVIN SEILER YOU ARE THE BIGGEST PERVERT EVER!"

Recess becomes oddly silent and faces turn to see what had happened. We sink into opposite corners of the room, both disturbed, embarrassed, and confused about what has just happened. I never was able to tell her that the whole incident was an accident or ever apologize for any harm done. So, even though she'll never read this, I can say I'm sorry for any embarrassment caused, some 15 plus years after the moment occured. I hope that you've gone on to accomplish much greater things than I have since that day and continue to do so in the future. Best of luck.

So, that's what I usually tell people is my most embarrassing story.